Sååååååå sant: You know you've been to long in China when...

You know you've been to long in China when...

5. You smoke in crowded elevators.
6. All white people look the same to you.
8. You find state-employed retail staff helpful, knowledgeable and friendly.
9. You no longer need tissues to blow your nose.
12. You think that the heavy air actually contains valuable nutrients that you need to stay healthy.
15. It’s OK to throw rubbish, including old fridges, from your 18th-floor window.
16. You believe that pressing the lift button 63 times will make it move faster.
17. You aren’t aware that one is supposed to pay for software.
19. You tell friends their house back in your home country has bad feng shui.
20. You think that a $7 shirt is a rip-off.
22. You buy an XXXL T-shirt in store when you returned home.
24. You have no reservations about spitting sun flower seeds on the restaurant floor.
25. You think it’s silly to buy a new bike when it’ll get stolen soon and stolen bikes are half the price.
27. You feel cheated if you don’t receive a full head and shoulder massage when getting a haircut.
29. You no longer wait in line, but go immediately to the head of the queue.
30. It becomes exciting to see if you can get on the lift before anyone can get off.
32. You no longer wonder how someone who earns US$ 400.00 per month can drive a Mercedes.
34. You believe everything you read in the local newspaper.
35. You have developed an uncontrollable urge to follow people carrying small flags.
36. You regard it as part of the adventure when the waiter correctly repeats your order and the cook makes something completely different.
37. You are not surprised when three men with a ladder show up to change a light bulb.
38. You look over people’s shoulder to see what they are reading.
39. You honk your horn at people because they are in your way as you drive down the sidewalk.
49. You have absolutely no sense of traffic rules.
50. You start calling other foreigners Lao Wai.
51. You start cutting off large vehicles on your bicycle.
53. You think no car is complete without a tissue box on the rear shelf and a feather duster in the trunk.
55. When looking out the window, you think “Wow, so many trees!” instead of “Wow, so much concrete!”
57. You think “white pills, blue pills, and pink powder” is an adequate answer to the question “What are you giving me, doctor?"

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